Sloppy Seconds, by Misbehavin' Maidens

Sloppy Seconds

by Misbehavin' Maidens

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1.	CONsent 01:04	lyrics	buy track

2.	Pump Away 03:35	lyrics	buy track

3.	I Wanna Make Out With You at Cons 02:19	info	buy track
4.	Rummer, the Rumrunner 04:26	lyrics	buy track

5.	Pumping Dry (Pump Shanty) 03:06	info	buy track
6.	Go Kart Racing (Accidentally Masturbating) 02:02	lyrics	buy track

7.	Alphabet Song 03:50	info	buy track
8.	German Clockwinder 02:42	lyrics	buy track

9.	Bang Away, Maidens 02:21	lyrics	buy track

10.	1996 02:44	lyrics	buy track

11.	Will They Or Won't They? 03:28	lyrics	buy track

12.	Aspirin 'Twixt Our Knees 02:22	info	buy track
13.	The Internet Dating Lament 00:21	info	buy track

about

"Sloppy Seconds" is full of nerdy and dirty, funny, sex-positive folk music sung by four badass women. If filthy, feminist folk that frequently references fandoms is your jam, this album is for you!

Our first album, "Busted," is fully a cappella and focused more on classic folk and sea shanties flipped to a female perspective.

This, our sophomore album, adds ukulele in addition to our pretty vocal harmonies, and exists because of our amazing fans and Kickstarter backers (www.kickstarter.com/projects/luckyannie/the-misbehavin-maidens-nerdier-and-dirtier-second/), who are the bestest ever.

credits

released April 11, 2017

The Misbehavin' Maidens are a mixed a capella/folk band comprised of four women from the Washington, D.C./Baltimore area with a love of sex-positive music, parodies, drinking & fandom references for the 18+ nerd crowd.

The Misbehavin' Maidens are:
Caroline Boulden as Saber Tompson
Jennifer Burrell as Madam Rouge O'Malley
Erin Hamilton as Flint Locke
Annie Lynsen as "Lucky" Annie LeBlanc

CD cover design by RJ Britton (www.rjbritton.com)
Logo design by Tracy Rebelo

Recorded, mixed and mastered at Asparagus Media Studios, Takoma Park, MD

Special thanks to Vince Evans, and big, sloppy kisses to our Kickstarter backers!

misbehavinmaidens.com
facebook.com/misbehavinmaidens
twitter.com/misbehavinmaids
instagram.com/misbehavinmaidens

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Misbehavin' Maidens Silver Spring, Maryland

The Misbehavin' Maidens are a mixed a capella/folk band comprised of four women from the Washington, D.C./Baltimore area with a love of sex-positive music, parodies, drinking & fandom references for the 18+ nerd crowd.

misbehavinmaidens.com

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Track Name: CONsent: If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, they're a person, not a fixture,
If you want to take a picture, get consent

If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, and don't want to cause them dismay,
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent

If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, there's a way to close the space,
If you want a big embrace, get consent

And if they still say no, back away
If they still say no, that's ok
If they decline your advance, it's their body, not your chance
If they still say no, just GO AWAY
Track Name: Pump Away: Well, I gave him favors one, favors one (favors one)
I gave him favors one, favors one (favors one)
I gave him favors one, it turned out to be quite fun!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors two, favors two (favors two)
I gave him favors two, favors two (favors two)
Well, I gave him favors two, 'cuz his balls were turning blue!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors three, favors three (favors three)
Well, I gave him favors three, favors three (favors three)
Well, I gave him favors three, but his piece I couldn’t see
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors four, favors four (favors four)
Well, I gave him favors four, favors four (favors four)
Well, I gave him favors four, now he's stuck there on the floor!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors five, favors five (favors five)
Well, I gave him favors five, favors five (favors five)
Well, I gave him favors five and I really hope that was a hive!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors six, favors six (favors six)
Well, I gave him favors six, favors six (favors six)
Well, I gave him favors six and I taught him all new tricks
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors seven, favors seven (favors seven)
Well, I gave him favors seven, favors seven (favors seven)
Well, I gave him favors seven, and we turned it to eleven!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors eight, favors eight (favors eight)
Well, I gave him favors eight, favors eight (favors eight)
Well, I gave him favors eight, and then I made him clean his plate!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, I gave him favors nine, favors nine (favors nine)
Well, I gave him favors nine, favors nine (favors nine)
Well, I gave him favors nine, 'cuz his ass, it was divine!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well, we gave them favors ten, favors ten (favors ten)
Well, we gave them favors ten, favors ten (favors ten)
Well, we gave them favors ten...and now we need new men!
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump awa
Track Name: Rummer, the Rumrunner: Well I’ll tell you a story, a tale of great deeds
About a young pirate who sailed on the seas
He robbed from the rich, and he gave to himself
But in the books he never ranked high on the shelf

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease

When he went out sailing one thing was for sure
Trouble was always a-plenty in store
For Rummer he never backed down from a fight
At the edge of a sword, or a bar wench at night

And he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
...and scurvy

He met up with a maiden who said she was pure
For five copper farthings and Rummer said sure
And when he was done on his face he looked pleased
But from then after that, it burns when he pees

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
...and scurvy and syphilis

Now poor Rummer upset from the burn
Went to the hospital and waited his turn
And while he was there he was prodded and stuck
Then the doctor looked up and said ‘My boy, you’re….in trouble’

And he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
...and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus

Now our dear captain, amused then ashamed
Went on a quest for his pride to reclaim
He went on a bender the likes none had seen
And when he was done, all knew where he’d been

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
...and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus and cirrhosis of the liver

Well this is the end, there isn’t much more
For after the bender our captain was poor
He met up with that maiden, who said ‘This time it’s free!’
And that was the end of his lecherous spree

And he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner,
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
...and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus
Cirrhosis, the clap and chlamydia
The herpes, the drip
The hepatitis A, B and C
And the dysentery!

It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
Track Name: Go Kart Racing (Accidentally Masturbating): Get in my go kart
Strap myself in
Rev up the engine let the fun begin
Put my foot on the gas
And I'm out of the gate
But the faster I go the more the metal vibrates (brrr)

My body's tingling from my head to my toes
But the thing that's really buzzing, I hope nobody knows
Cause I'm feeling kind of funny in a biblical way
God Damn! It's shaking hard on my Georgia O'Keeffe bouquet
I never guessed this trembling machine
Would turn the motor on under my hood

Go kart racing
Accidentally masturbating
Go kart racing
Mechanical self-fornicating
Go kart racing
No stopping ‘till I cross the finish line

Shifting gears
I can feel my heart throb
Hope nobody notices I'm getting a lube job
Don't need no gentlemen to start my engine
Cause I can even feel a little rear suspension (brrr)
Try to cover up my scandal like I'm Goldman Sachs
But shit is getting real on this indoor track
I'm about to go blind and I feel like a creep
Cause it's pressing on my horn like beep beep beep
Now my driving is getting erratic
Cause this transmission is automatic

Go kart racing
Accidentally masturbating
Go kart racing
Mechanical self-fornicating
Go kart racing
No stopping ‘till I cross the finish line

If the fruit is ripe you might as well pluck it
Was gonna slow down but then I thought "fuck it"
No one look at me cause this is it
Green flag, go go, holy shit

Go kart racing
Accidentally masturbating
Go kart racing
Mechanical self-fornicating
Go kart racing
No stopping ‘till I cross the finish line

Go kart racing
Accidentally masturbating
Go kart racing
Mechanical self-fornicating
Go kart racing
No stopping ‘till I cross the finish line
Track Name: German Clockwinder: A German Clockwinder to Dublin once came
Benjamin Fuchs was the old German’s name
And as he was making his way ‘round the strand
He played on his lute and the music was grand

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

There was a young lady in Grosvenor Square
Who said that her clock was in need of repair
In walked the German and to her delight
In less than five minutes, he had her clock right

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

And as they were sitting right down on the floor
There came a very loud knock on the door
In walked her husband and great was his shock
To see that old German wind up his wife’s clock

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

And then says her husband “Look here, Maryann
Don’t let that old German come in here again
He wound up your clock and left mine on the shelf
If your old clock needs winding, I’ll do it myself!”

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

Then says the German, “Sir, I meant you no harm,
But the spring wouldn’t work in your old wife’s alarm,
So I took out me oil-can, and I gave it a squirt
If you kept it well-oiled, your wife’s clock would work!”

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

AGAIN

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Track Name: Bang Away, Maidens: Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Saber is a Slytherin
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean

Our Saber's quite a kinkster
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
"As you wish,"
Now she's the Princess Bride!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!

Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!

Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s true!)

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song

Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?

Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Track Name: 1996: Fanboy got Dragon Ball,
Made sure to watch it all,
One garage kit a day,
Got high on model spray,
Mech posters on his door,
Couldn't even see the floor,
Never went to Japan,
What happened to his plan?

He was gonna be an idol,
He was gonna be a star,
Gonna get a replica,
Of Nekki Basara's guitar,
His desk job 8 to 3,
Is now the enemy,
No more D&D nights,
And nothin', has been, all right

Since Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996

We've seen all the classics,
Every line we know,
Kenshin, the Slayers, too,
Even Nadesico,
We sang Sana's rap,
Knew all the guys in SMAP,
Thought we'd get a hand,
On a member of Priss's band

Where're the bikinis made of tiger?
And who's that Tenchi clone out screaming bloody murder?
When did that OAV become TV?
Whatever happened to
Tape trades, cel shades,
In the decades since

Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996

We hate cuts, make them stop
When did wine and beer become tea and pop?
And when did pirates start using toy guns?
Glad 4Kids was dropped, dropped, dropped!

Now show Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 1996

Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996
Track Name: Will They Or Won't They?: You and I are kind of like Romeo and Juliet
In that I’m romantic and sweet, and you’re an immature loser
With friends who are unreasonably violent

You and I are kind of like Ron and Hermione
In that I’m super smart, I’m good with my wand
And you keep a murderer as a pet

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

You and I are kind of like Simon and Kaylee
In that I like spaceships and have a brilliant mind
And your whole damn family is crazy

You and I are kind of like Karrin Murphy and Harry Dresden
In that I know how to use a gun
And you’re wanted by the cops for arson

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

You and I are kind of like Mulder and Scully
In that you’re paranoid, and even when you’re right
I look like the smart one

You and I are kind of like 7 of 9 and the EMH
In that the one time you were inside me
You ate an entire cheesecake

You and I are kind of like Starbuck and Apollo
In that after all this, this is going to end in an anticlimactic way
You and I are kind of like Starbuck and Apollo
In that after all this
Unresolved sexual tension
And emotional investment
And time and money
This is going to end
In an anticlimactic way

You and I are kind of like Spike and Buffy
In that you have a terrible accent
And my house is full of weapons

You and I are kind of like the Doctor and River Song
In that I’m a total badass with some fabulous hair
And you’ve made out with both my parents

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

In these stories we want to know
Will they or won’t they?
But with us, I know the answer: We won’t.

Sloppy Seconds

by Misbehavin' Maidens

Streaming + Download

$10 USD or more

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Sloppy Seconds

by Misbehavin' Maidens

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about

credits

tags

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about

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contact / help

Streaming + Download

$10 USD or more