Begrudgingly Behavin'

by Misbehavin' Maidens

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about

All tracks on this album have been previously released on our three albums. This is a compilation album of all our PG-rated songs for fans who want to play only our songs without explicit content.

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released September 16, 2019

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all rights reserved

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about

Misbehavin' Maidens Silver Spring, Maryland

Nerd folk comedy band comprised of four women from the Washington, DC / Baltimore area with a love of sex-positive music, parodies, drinking & fandom references for 18+ geeks. 3rd album, "Swearing is Caring," now available!

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Track Name: 1996
Fanboy got Dragon Ball,
Made sure to watch it all,
One garage kit a day,
Got high on model spray,
Mech posters on his door,
Couldn't even see the floor,
Never went to Japan,
What happened to his plan?

He was gonna be an idol,
He was gonna be a star,
Gonna get a replica,
Of Nekki Basara's guitar,
His desk job 8 to 3,
Is now the enemy,
No more D&D nights,
And nothin', has been, all right

Since Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996

We've seen all the classics,
Every line we know,
Kenshin, the Slayers, too,
Even Nadesico,
We sang Sana's rap,
Knew all the guys in SMAP,
Thought we'd get a hand,
On a member of Priss's band

Where're the bikinis made of tiger?
And who's that Tenchi clone out screaming bloody murder?
When did that OAV become TV?
Whatever happened to
Tape trades, cel shades,
In the decades since

Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996

We hate cuts, make them stop
When did wine and beer become tea and pop?
And when did pirates start using toy guns?
Glad 4Kids was dropped, dropped, dropped!

Now show Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 1996

Akira, Gokudo,
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne,
And Sailor Moon on USA,
The newbies in high school,
They tell us that we're uncool,
'Cause we've had our Asian fix,
Since 19, 19, 1996
Track Name: Bunnies In My Brain
Lying in my bedroom, wide awake
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Trying hard to sleep, but I can’t catch a break
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
These worries could all be real or fake
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I’ll never sort them out before I wake!
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

Chorus:
Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning,
Filling me with anxiety,
Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!

I try medication and meditation too
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Cuz managing this is what I gotta do
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Some days are tough for me to get through
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But that got a little better when I met you
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

When I met you, there was a twist
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
You’re so much more than just a tryst
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Those bunnies in my brain, they must be pissed
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
They're quieter now, and they ain’t missed
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

You ease my brain sometimes for sure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
You make me feel nice and secure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I'm not saying that you're the cure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Cuz that belief is immature
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

Bunnies in my brain will always stay
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
I was built like this, to my dismay
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I'll always fight, day after day
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
While you make my heart race in a better way
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

Final chorus:
Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning,
Filling me with anxiety,
Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
Track Name: Smile!
Maybe you think you’re clever
Or maybe you think it’s cute
But we are just perfect strangers
So you come off like a brute

And I’m just trying to get to work now
So, excuse me if I’m not contrite
But I’ve never met you before, sir
and you don't know it but you're starting a fight

Chorus:
Please don’t ask me to smile
Please don’t tell me to cheer up
Cuz this is my face and it isn’t your place to tell me how
I should use it
No don’t ask me to smile
Because it isn’t kind, it’s creepy
I just wanna be me
Angry, sad or carefree and
I'm fine with me
So I don’t see a need to excuse it

I’ve got a pretty cancerous puppy
And my mom and my dad just died
I’m sorry if I don’t seem happy
But I’ll try to look on the bright side

But I lost all my things in that house fire
And I haven’t pooped in a week
I think my boyfriend’s dating the mailman
So my tolerance is reaching its peak

[Chorus]

Bridge:
I don’t care if I’m pretty
I don’t care if I’m cute
I’m not looking to flirt
I’m no sweetheart to you
You may be funny
And you may be sweet
But right now you kinda sound like a creep

[Chorus]

My cat was abducted by aliens
And my car is infested with bees
I’ll try to remember the good times
Like when I got that kidney disease

And I’m apparently allergic to coffee
And my sister just got killed by bear
I’m sorry if I seem so distracted
But I just found out I’m losing my hair

[Chorus]
Track Name: CONsent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, they're a person, not a fixture,
If you want to take a picture, get consent

If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, and don't want to cause them dismay,
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent

If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, there's a way to close the space,
If you want a big embrace, get consent

And if they still say no, back away
If they still say no, that's ok
If they decline your advance, it's their body, not your chance
If they still say no, just GO AWAY
Track Name: German Clockwinder
A German Clockwinder to Dublin once came
Benjamin Fuchs was the old German’s name
And as he was making his way ‘round the strand
He played on his lute and the music was grand

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

There was a young lady in Grosvenor Square
Who said that her clock was in need of repair
In walked the German and to her delight
In less than five minutes, he had her clock right

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

And as they were sitting right down on the floor
There came a very loud knock on the door
In walked her husband and great was his shock
To see that old German wind up his wife’s clock

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

And then says her husband “Look here, Maryann
Don’t let that old German come in here again
He wound up your clock and left mine on the shelf
If your old clock needs winding, I’ll do it myself!”

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

Then says the German, “Sir, I meant you no harm,
But the spring wouldn’t work in your old wife’s alarm,
So I took out me oil-can, and I gave it a squirt
If you kept it well-oiled, your wife’s clock would work!”

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”

AGAIN

Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Singing “Too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-lam-a-lam-a, too-ra-li-ay
Too-ra-li, oo-ra-li, oo-ra-li-ay”
Track Name: Mermaids and Queers
Chorus:
Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep
To dash men on rocks, or to put them to sleep
What do they do with all the rest? The straight gals and the queers?
Do Sirens change their music when it falls on deaf ears?

Straight gals and gay guys aren't into topless broads
They barely even notice them swimming in their pods
Mermaids call for backup when it doesn't go to plan
Those lads and lasses can't deny a rugged Aquaman!

Chorus

Aces and Greys hardly give mermaids a thought
They hear the siren's tempting song and just say "Could you not?"
But those fishymaids have found a way! No one can catch a break!
They know not even Aces can resist delicious cake!

Chorus

Demisexuals all like to think they're in the clear
They listen to the Sirens’ song without a spot of fear
They make pals with the Mermaids that follow them around
Their friendship blossoms into more, and oops they all are drowned!

Chorus

Mermaids and Sirens are just like you and me
They're all over the spectrum of sexuality
There's only one little thing that’s certainly assumed
Lesbians, Pansexuals and Bis are always doomed!

Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep
To dash folx on rocks, or to put them to sleep
It doesn't matter who you are, or how you play the game
They'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same!
Yes, they they'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same!
Track Name: Fall River Hoedown
Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died
And he got his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide.
Some folks say she didn't do it, and others say she did
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. was a problem sort of kid

'Cause you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it's planned as a surprise
No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbors love to criticize.

She got him on the sofa where he'd gone to take a snooze
And I hope he went to heaven' cause he wasn't wearing shoes
Lizzie kind of rearranged him with a hatchet, so they say
And then she got her mother in that same old-fashioned way,

But you can't can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
Not even if you're tired of her cuisine
No, you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
You know it's almost sure to cause a scene.

Well, they really kept her hoppin' on that busy afternoon
With both down and upstairs chopping while she hummed a ragtime tune:
They really made her hustle and when all was said and done
She'd removed her mother's bustle when she wasn't wearing one.

Oh you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
And then blame all the damage on the mice,
No you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
That kind of thing just isn't very nice.

Now, It wasn't done for pleasure and it wasn't done for spite
And it wasn't done because the lady wasn't very bright,
She'd always done the slightest thing that mom and dad had bid
They said, "Lizzie cut it out! " so that's exactly what she did.

But you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk,
No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York.

You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts---
Shut the door, lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet!
You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts---
Such a snob, I heard it said,
She met her pa and cut him dead!
You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts---
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise
All join in in a habeas corpus!
No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts---
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York!
Track Name: Mansplain Man
They say I’m a Man-Hater,
Away, boys, away!
That I think like a dictator
So it’s Mansplain Man

Chorus:
Mansplain Man,
Oh Mansplain Man.
They think that they know better
And it’s Mansplain Man.

Feminazi’s what they call me
Away, boys, away!
That my goals are not equality
So it’s Mansplain Man

They call me Nasty Woman,
Away, boys, away!
Say I’m barely even Human
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

"Fake Geek Girls," they do mention
Away, boys, away!
Say it’s all a cry for attention
So it’s Mansplain Man

They say I’m a host for their baby
Away, boys, away!
I should just close my legs maybe
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

They say I’m a special snowflake
Away, boys, away!
But I make them shiver and shake
So it’s Mansplain Man

I’m a Social Justice Warrior
Away, boys, away!
And the battle’s getting Gorier
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

Explain that I should quit
Away, boys, away!
And I’ll tell you where to shove it
So it’s Mansplain Man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
She’s got a doctorate in this topic,
And it’s Man-splain man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
I LITERALLY just said that,
And it’s Mansplain man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
I WRITE THE GODDAMN BLOG YOU REFERENCED
And it's Mansplain man…

Mansplain man,
Oh Man-splain man.
This is why you never read the comments
Cuz it’s Mansplain man
Track Name: Paddy Murphy
Oh, the night that Paddy Murphy died is a night I'll never forget
Some of the boys got loaded drunk and they ain't got sober yet
As long as a bottle was passed around, everyone was feelin' gay
O'Leary came with the bagpipes, some music for to play!

Chorus:
That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy
That's how they showed their honor and their pride
They said it was a sin and shame, and they winked at one another
And every drink in the place was full the night Pat Murphy died!

Mrs. Murphy sat in a corner, pourin' out her grief
When Kelly and his gang came a-tearin' down the street
They went into an empty room and a bottle of whiskey stole
And put that bottle with the corpse to keep that whiskey cold!

[Chorus]

Well, everyone started drinkin', they didn't worry for a prayer
Mrs. Murphy said she'd wait 'till everyone was there
If e'er a sight I ever did see that made me shiver with fear
They took the ice right off the corpse and placed it with the beer!

[Chorus]

A fight broke out, 'twas fierce and strong, and everyone was in
Someone knocked the whiskers right off poor old Darby Flynn
And Dirty Andy Burke was there, now whaddaya think he'd done?
He put the corpse right on its head in the corner just for fun!

[Chorus]

Then Mrs. Murphy started in and battled with the cops
She chased 'em, every one of them, she chased 'em several blocks
A lovely time was had by all, 18 in court were tried
For having caused a riot on the night Pat Murphy died!

[Chorus]

Then someone asked old Finnegan if anyone had died
"Well," says he, "I'm not quite sure. I just came for the ride!"
They headed for the graveyard, all holy and sublime
And found out when they'd got there they'd left the corpse behind!

[Chorus x2]
Track Name: Slytherins Are Misunderstood (Clean Edit)
Slytherins are evil
That's what other houses say!
But as a Slytherin
I aim to change your view today
Slytherins aren't terrible
We're just misunderstood
Just because we’re a little power-obsessed
Doesn't mean we can't be good

Chorus:
Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin
They all think you’re bad
But a Slytherin will be the
Bestest friend you've ever had!

Slytherins can be so kind
They take care of their friends
They'll find for you a meal
Cuz you “forgot lunch again”!
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn't always show
But don't ask them where they got that sandwich
You don't want to know!

[Chorus]

Slytherins watch out for you
They'll make sure you're ok!
They'll tell your ex to [bleep] right off
And make them go away!
They'll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!

[Chorus]

A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.

[Chorus]

I hope I've helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don't have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That's why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!

[Chorus X2]
Track Name: Dumb Ways to Con
Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate

Chorus:
Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con

Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof

[Chorus]

Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde

[Chorus]

Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint

[Chorus]

Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting...

Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….
Track Name: I Wanna Make Out With You At Cons
I think you’re really cute and nice and funny
We’ve got a lot in common and that’s just cool
We’re not real close, we’re far from besties
But if I didn’t tell you this I’d be a fool

[Chorus]
I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying

You look so good when you’re all dressed up
You’re giving me needs that I just can’t shake
I like it when you’re in character
So I’ve got a little proposition to make

[Chorus]

You don’t live close enough for us to date
And I’ve got too many things on my plate
But still you’re really cute, did I mention that?
We’ve got a good rapport and I’d like to state...

[Chorus]

I’d almost worked up the courage to ask you
And then my heart just broke
Because your Facebook status changed
To “In a Relationship”
And I don’t think you’re polyamorous like I am

So after some thorough soul-searching
And after some tears
And more than a few margaritas
And a couple of tequila shots
And many, many episodes of “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix…
Even season 7 with Logan, I mean, what was that about?

Anyway…
I came to the conclusion there’s only one thing I can do.
Find somebody else.
...How YOU doin’?

[Chorus x2]
Track Name: Space Shanty
It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, we spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone

Chorus:
And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below

Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, "Captain do we have a plan?"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
"I don't want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, "Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
"Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, "I think that we should..."
"Shut up Wesley!!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
"I hope that this conflict doesn't take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck."

[Chorus]

Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
"There's a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry"

[Chorus]

Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said--
"Klingons do not sing space shanties."

[Chorus X2]
Track Name: Bedlam Boys
For to see Mad Tom of Bedlam, ten thousand miles I'd travel
Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes, for to save her shoes from gravel.

Chorus:
Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad boys,
Bedlam boys are bonny,
For they all go bare and they live by the air,
And they want no drink nor money.

I went down to Satan's kitchen, for to beg me food one morning
And there I got souls pipin’ hot, all on the spit a-turnin’.

[Chorus]

There I picked up a cauldron, where boiled ten thousand harlots
Though full of flame I drank the same, to the health of all such varlets.

[Chorus]

My staff has murdered giants, my bag a long knife carries
For to cut mince pies out of children's thighs, and feed them to the fairies.

[Chorus]

It's when next I have murdered, the Man-In-The-Moon to powder
His staff I'll break and his dog I'll bake, there'll howl no demon louder.

[Chorus]

So drink to Tom of Bedlam, he'll fill the seas in barrels
I'll drink it all, all brewed with gall, with Mad Maudlin I’ll travel.

[Chorus x2, as a round]

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