Swearing is Caring

by Misbehavin' Maidens

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a cardboard sleeve, printed full-color on both sides, shrink-wrapped.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Swearing is Caring via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a cardboard sleeve, printed full-color on both sides. Disc is autographed.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Swearing is Caring via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    3 remaining

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 7 Misbehavin' Maidens releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Meet the Maidens, Begrudgingly Behavin', Swearing is Caring, Slytherins are Misunderstood (Clean Edit) (Single), Bibliophilia (single), Sloppy Seconds, and Busted. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $28.20 USD or more (40% OFF)

     

1.
Bibliophilia 02:01
Let's get busy in the library I wanna do it by the books But if I can't be quiet, we'll get nasty looks My bits are Dewey and by now my pleasure's feeling overdue Let's do it in the library Let's do it in the library Let's get busy in the library And then my pleasure will renew There's so much friction and non-friction to pursue Oh put a hold on me, I promise I will not be so reserved Let's do it in the library Let's do it in the library Let's get busy in the library Where we can hide among the stacks Don't leave me hanging in suspense at the climax Let's make the graphic novel section much more graphic than it's been Let's do it in the library Let's do it in the library Let's get busy in the library My lust is hitting Overdrive Shelf three-oh-six-point-seven's where I feel alive For some extra kink I'll maybe even do you dog-ear style Let's do it in the library Let’s do it in the library I've wanted you in the library Since I first checked you out My love life had been in a catastrophic drought But since I found you, erotica genre, I want to read you all the time, And... I wanna do it in the library I wanna do it in the library
2.
Slytherins are evil That's what other houses say! But as a Slytherin I aim to change your view today Slytherins aren't terrible We're just misunderstood Just because we're little power-obsessed Doesn't mean we can't be good Chorus: Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin They all think you’re bad But a Slytherin will be the Bestest friend you've ever had! Slytherins can be so kind They take care of their friends They'll find for you a meal Cuz you "forgot your lunch again"! They really are the sweetest It just doesn't always show But don't ask them where they got that sandwich You don't want to know! Chorus Slytherins watch out for you They'll make sure you're ok! They'll tell your ex to f**k right off And make them go away! They'll respect your choices When you want to win or quit And most of the time will manipulate you only a little bit! Chorus A Slytherin will open up If they think you’ll listen You know they care about you If they don’t just hold it in Expressing their emotions Is not their strongest trait Unless, of course, you count the feelings Sad, mad, fear, and hate. Chorus I hope I've helped you all to see That Slytherins are fine! You don't have to reject us You just have to have a spine! Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing Where some boundaries lay That's why we all need our Hufflepuffs To keep us all at bay! Chorus X2
3.
Chorus: Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep To dash men on rocks, or to put them to sleep What do they do with all the rest? The straight gals and the queers? Do Sirens change their music when it falls on deaf ears? Straight gals and gay guys aren't into topless broads They barely even notice them swimming in their pods Mermaids call for backup when it doesn't go to plan Those lads and lasses can't deny a rugged Aquaman! Chorus Aces and Greys hardly give mermaids a thought They hear the siren's tempting song and just say "Could you not?" But those fishymaids have found a way! No one can catch a break! They know not even Aces can resist delicious cake! Chorus Demisexuals all like to think they're in the clear They listen to the Sirens’ song without a spot of fear They make pals with the Mermaids that follow them around Their friendship blossoms into more, and oops they all are drowned! Chorus Mermaids and Sirens are just like you and me They're all over the spectrum of sexuality There's only one little thing that’s certainly assumed Lesbians, Pansexuals and Bis are always doomed! Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep To dash folx on rocks, or to put them to sleep It doesn't matter who you are, or how you play the game They'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same! Yes, they they'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same!
4.
Space Shanty 04:39
It was Wednesday morn when we engaged Boldly going places man has never known When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship Far away from the Neutral Zone Chorus: And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship While civilians they lie down below (below, below) While civilians they lie down below Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise And he was a handsome bearded man He straddled a chair with his very long legs And said, "Captain do we have a plan?" Chorus Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise And a well-spoken man was he "I don't want to tangle with the Romulans, I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!" Chorus Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise She was a strong willed woman in blue She said, "Captain come on, you have to run this ship All the crew is depending on you!" Chorus Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise And a curious android was he "Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship Has decided to break the treaty?" Chorus Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise And a nerdy little genius was he He said, "I think that we should..." "Shut up Wesley!!" Chorus Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise And his visor was really high-tech "I hope that this conflict doesn't take that long I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck." Chorus Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise And a very pretty empath was she "There's a Romulan vessel outside of this ship And I sense the Romulans are angry" Chorus Up spoke Security on the Enterprise And a very moody Klingon was he He said-- "Klingons do not sing space shanties." Chorus X2
5.
Smile! 02:56
Maybe you think you’re clever Or maybe you think it’s cute But we are just perfect strangers So you come off like a brute And I’m just trying to get to work now So, excuse me if I’m not contrite But I’ve never met you before, sir and you don't know it but you're starting a fight CHORUS: Please don’t ask me to smile Please don’t tell me to cheer up Cuz this is my face and it isn’t your place to tell me how I should use it No don’t ask me to smile Because it isn’t kind, it’s creepy I just wanna be me Angry, sad or carefree and I'm fine with me So I don’t see a need to excuse it I’ve got a pretty cancerous puppy And my mom and my dad just died I’m sorry if I don’t seem happy But I’ll try to look on the bright side But I lost all my things in that house fire And I haven’t pooped in a week I think my boyfriend’s dating the mailman So my tolerance is reaching its peak CHORUS BRIDGE: I don’t care if I’m pretty I don’t care if I’m cute I’m not looking to flirt I’m no sweetheart to you You may be funny And you may be sweet But right now you kinda sound like a creep CHORUS My cat was abducted by aliens And my car is infested with bees I’ll try to remember the good times Like when I got that kidney disease And I’m apparently allergic to coffee And my sister just got killed by bear I’m sorry if I seem so distracted But I just found out I’m losing my hair CHORUS
6.
Lying in my bedroom, wide awake Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Trying hard to sleep, but I can’t catch a break Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! These worries could all be real or fake Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! But I’ll never sort them out before I wake! Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Chorus: Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning, Filling me with anxiety, Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain! Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain! Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain! I try medication and meditation too Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Cuz managing this is what I gotta do Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Some days are tough for me to get through Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! But that got a little better when I met you Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Chorus When I met you, there was a twist Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! You’re so much more than just a tryst Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Those bunnies in my brain, they must be pissed Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! They're quieter now, and they ain’t missed Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Chorus You ease my brain sometimes for sure Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! You make me feel nice and secure Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! But I'm not saying that you're the cure Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Cuz that belief is immature Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Chorus Bunnies in my brain will always stay Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! I was built like this, to my dismay Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! But I'll always fight, day after day Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! While you make my heart race in a better way Hey ho, bunnies in my brain! Final chorus: Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning, Filling me with anxiety, Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain! Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain! Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain! Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain! Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain! And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
7.
On this long road trip we’ve gone, Headed down to DragonCon, Fucking hell, we had to drive six hundred miles Six hundred miles, six hundred miles Six hundred miles, six hundred miles Fucking hell, we had to drive six hundred miles High-priced hotels, huge dealer halls Four summer days, it’s hot as balls, Not cheap to be six hundred miles away from home Away from home, away from home, Away from home, away from home Not cheap to be six hundred miles away from home [Instrumental] Cosplay sweat-stuck to our backs Pail of rum punch to relax, Shit, we can’t get to the hotel through the parade Through the parade, through the parade, Through the parade, through the parade, Shit, we can’t get to the hotel through the parade On this long road trip we’ve gone, Forth and back from DragonCon, Holy fuck, we have to drive twelve hundred miles Twelve hundred miles, twelve hundred miles Twelve hundred miles, twelve hundred miles Holy fuck, we have to drive twelve hundred miles Fucking hell, we have to drive twelve hundred miles ...But you assholes are worth all...twelve hundred miles…
8.
Well a working lass am I, and I am telling you no lie, I work and sleep among the docks, where the laddies come to buy. There's dirt and dust around me, and the sea spray fills the air, There's a lousy smell that smacks of hell, and white stuff in me hair. Chorus And it's blow, girls, blow, No time to take a break And every day you're in this place the more you start to ache But you blow Well I've slept with saints and sinners and most every type of bloke The tall, the small, "Not there at all," and some who made me choke. Spend all my time down on me knees till my thighs start to burn, I like it rough, I've done enough to make your stomachs turn! Chorus Well, there's overtime and bonus opportunities galore The young men have their money and they all come back for more But soon you're knocking on and you're tired and you're sore For every bob you give a job, there's five knocking on your door Chorus Well a working lass am I and I'm telling you no lie, I work and sleep among the docks, where the laddies come to buy. There's dirt and dust around me, and the sea spray fills the air, There's a lousy smell that smacks of hell, and white stuff in me hair. Chorus x2
9.
Pillowtalk 03:36
We just finished fucking each other, It was pretty good, not great, We matched on a phone application, You said you weren't looking to date Now we’re lying naked, in the bed, And our silence fills the air, You turn your head towards me As you reach to touch my hair… “I can’t wait for my partner to meet you,” You casually say with a grin, My mouth drops open, my eyes open wide, Don’t even know where to begin You haven’t told me about them before now, Or bothered to give them a mention, Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time To give it your fucking attention! We’ve gone on a couple of dates before now, And somehow the moment is right, I go back with you to your bedroom, And we screw all through the night, I wake up refreshed the next morning, “Oh good, you’re up!” you croon, I brace myself, and hold my breath, Don’t want to judge too soon… “Do you think you could back my Kickstarter? Just 3,000 dollars to go!” I can’t palm my face any harder, This is shit you should already know! You haven’t told me about it before now, Or bothered to give it a mention, Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time To give it your fucking attention! When you invited me to your orgy, I figured “Okay, what the hell?” The group was all super attractive, And I’d had a bit of a dry spell, I should have suspected that something was off, Or at least all was not as should be, After several embraces, I found several faces All peering down at me “I hope that you’re not too allergic, That’s the pillow where my cat sleeps.” “Let me now tell you all about Jesus, You must know that he loves you heaps!” “Lay back and try to get comfortable now, I’m sensing some hesitation… But you’ll want to get the best angle For my Powerpoint presentatioooooon~!” So if you’re taking somebody home, Or to your hotel bed, Consider your thoughts oh-so-carefully, And beware of what is said, Do not break some new information While you’re basking in the glow, Don’t criticize, or proselytize, Or tell them about your shoooow~! We’re not saying ‘withhold information’, Just tell them before you both screw, There’s too many chemicals after sex, To agree with or say no to you, If you haven’t told them about it before now, As we may have already mentioned, Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time To give it your fucking attention! No, Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time To give it your fucking attention!
10.
They say I’m a Man-Hater, Away, boys, away! That I think like a dictator So it’s Mansplain Man Mansplain Man, Oh Mansplain Man. They think that they know better And it’s Mansplain Man. Feminazi’s what they call me Away, boys, away! That my goals are not equality So it’s Mansplain Man They call me Nasty Woman, Away, boys, away! Say I’m barely even Human So it’s Mansplain Man Mansplain Man, Oh Mansplain Man. They think that they know better And it’s Mansplain Man. "Fake Geek Girls," they do mention Away, boys, away! Say it’s all a cry for attention So it’s Mansplain Man They say I’m a host for their baby Away, boys, away! I should just close my legs maybe So it’s Mansplain Man Mansplain Man, Oh Mansplain Man. They think that they know better And it’s Mansplain Man. They say I’m a special snowflake Away, boys, away! But I make them shiver and shake So it’s Mansplain Man I’m a Social Justice Warrior Away, boys, away! And the battle’s getting Gorier So it’s Mansplain Man Mansplain Man, Oh Mansplain Man. They think that they know better And it’s Mansplain Man. Explain that I should quit Away, boys, away! And I’ll tell you where to shove it So it’s Mansplain Man Mansplain man, Oh Mansplain man. She’s got a doctorate in this topic, And it’s Man-splain man Mansplain man, Oh Mansplain man. I LITERALLY just said that, And it’s Mansplain man Mansplain man, Oh Mansplain man. I WRITE THE GODDAMN BLOG YOU REFERENCED And it's Mansplain man… Mansplain man, Oh Man-splain man. This is why you never read the comments Cuz it’s Mansplain man
11.
CHORUS: Drinks don’t have a fucking gender Oh, you know, that’s right Both cosmos and straight whiskey They can keep us warm at night Just cuz a drink is pink it doesn’t Say a thing about you Cuz drinks don’t have a fucking gender, it’s true Don’t tell me I can’t drink that shot Because it’s just too bold My gender isn’t governed by The drink I choose to hold Aged Scotch or a fine bourbon, neat They taste real good to me And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, you see. CHORUS I’m something of a sugar fiend It’s not a felony With cocktails full of grenadine Blood of my enemies! They taste great and they’re strong as hell What makes that immature? Cuz drinks don’t have a fucking gender, for sure. CHORUS Just cuz I like tequila It don’t mean I overdo I savor the expensive stuff And stop before I spew I’m not a lush, I’m not a mess I drink it nice and slow And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, you know. CHORUS Well, I like wine, it’s yummy It’s the way that I unwind I might just have another glass If you would be so kind I’m not a snob about it But just let me reinforce That drinks don’t have a fucking gender, of course We all like drinking different things That’s totally okay Drinks are not identity Whatever others say But all that said, please don’t drink crap Cuz life is just too short For Bud Lite Or Arbor Mist Or Everclear Or FourLoko! Or $1 Long Island Iced Teas (shudder) Be good to you, you’re worth it Drink good booze that likes you too And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, it’s true
12.
Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs, Try to lick all of the vendor wares Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait, Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate Chorus: Dumb ways to con, So many dumb ways to con, Dumb ways to co-o-on, So many dumb ways to con Keep a Tribble as a pet, Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat, Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof, Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof Chorus Challenge a Wookiee to a fight, Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde Chorus Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot, Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute, Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint Chorus Agree to a group skit without committing… Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting... Go all weekend without taking a shower, Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important, They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly The dumbest ways to con, The dumbest ways to con, Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn… So many dumb So many dumb ways to con….
13.
Well my father thinks you're nifty, And you’ve heard of Bodelaire, And we both agree that human rights abuses are unfair You understand your feelings And you're not afraid to share, And I think I could do something with your hair... You smell nice, And you're groovy, And we both like nerdy movies... My mother says you have that touch of class. I can see a shining future where we'll dialogue and nurture, But there's just one thing I feel I need to ask.... Do you take it up the ass? Do you take it up the ass? When it comes to brains, you've got 'em But unless you play the bottom, I don’t think you and me are gonna last Do you take it up the ass? Do you take it up the ass? I’m not really one for begging So unless you’re into pegging Afraid I'm gonna have to take a pass 'Cause you're adorable, reliable, But is your anus pliable? That's the information that we need. Would you do it if you loved me? If you're nervous, squat above me You'll be able to control the depth and speeeeeeed..... Do you take it up the ass? Do you take it up the ass? Ooooooooh.... Do you take it up the ass.......?

about

On our third nerd-folk comedy album full of songs about fandoms, sex, LGBTQIAP+ themes, and feminism, we swear because we care.

credits

released July 10, 2019

The Misbehavin' Maidens are:
Caroline Boulden as Saber Tompson
Jennifer Burrell as Madam Rouge O'Malley
Erin Hamilton as Flint Locke
Enfys Book as "Lucky" Annie LeBlanc

CD cover design by Russell Altizer (facebook.com/colorfullanguageart/)
Logo design by Tracy Rebelo

Recorded, mixed and mastered at Asparagus Media Studios, Takoma Park, MD

Special thanks to Donna Korn and Phoebe Hamilton, as well as our amazing Kickstarter backers!

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Misbehavin' Maidens Silver Spring, Maryland

"Funny, filthy, feminist, fandom folk" band comprised of four women from the Washington, DC / Baltimore area with a love of sex-positive music, parodies, drinking & fandom references for 18+ geeks.

contact / help

Contact Misbehavin' Maidens

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Misbehavin' Maidens recommends:

If you like Misbehavin' Maidens, you may also like: